7:00 a.m.

I am usually awake by this time. My most productive brain time is in the morning. I have ADHD, and I tend to treat it using coffee. I make myself a cup of coffee and go to my office. While I drink my coffee, I read my emails and plan out my day.

8:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.

During this time, I write my blog posts for the 7 websites I run (which includes this one). To be the most productive, all quick posts that require little research are written first followed by those that need more time. After writing, if I still have time leftover in my 2 1/2 hour slot, I will plan ahead my months using my content calendars.

10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

Work on my latest writing project. It depends on if it is a novel, article, or short story.

12:00 pm to 1:00 pm (Lunch break)

1:00 pm to 2:00 pm

This time is for errands or cleaning around the house. I generally use the afternoons for those things that do not require a whole lot of concentration. Errands. Cleaning. Organizing. Brain power is for those tasks that need it. Everything else is just getting it done. Or working on it.

2:00 pm to 5:00 pm

In the afternoon, I work on my other businesses, like sewing. I will go into my sewing studio and work on sewing or new projects. If I don’t have anything that I’m currently working on, I may write, but mostly it is sewing. Sewing is one of my happy thoughts, so I enjoy doing that last in the day. It’s right up there with reading.

The post My typical day appeared first on Martha L. Thurston.

I’ve been extremely frustrated lately with the fact that when I sit down with every intention to write in the evenings, I can never find that spark of inspiration. What’s the deal? All day at work, I mull over ideas in my head and I’m certain that as soon as I’m home I will put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard, but what follows is anything but productivity.

This has been a weekly occurrence, and I’m frustrated about the writer’s block that seems to happen at the end of my normal teaching work day. [If you are unfamiliar with what I do for my 9-5, you can visit my blog: Teaching ELA in the Middle. I sometimes chronicle my life as a middle school teacher there.] Why must I have writer’s block at the end of the day?

Then, something miraculous happened. I realized that my most productive writing times are in the morning after I first wake up and late at night (closer to midnight). What? How can this be?

My ideal writing time is not lining up with my daily Monday through Thursday schedule. Now I am at a loss for how to work this new information to my benefit. Do I get up extremely early during the week, or do I stay up extremely late and risk not being at my best for teaching?

I don’t mind this kind of schedule on a Friday night or Saturday, but I have no choice while school is currently in session to comply with my creative needs.

Ugh! I feel like my students right now: Ms. Thurrrrrstonnnnnn, this is tooooooo harrrrrrrd! And yes, it sounds just as whiney as it is written and with eyes rolling, pencils slapping desks, and frustrated children sliding down in seats.

How do you overcome writer’s block when you have to write?

I’m certain that in some alternate perfect paradise where I no longer teach, but I have freedom to write whenever the mood strikes, or I can write for as long or as late as needed, I wouldn’t have such severe writer’s block. Right now? It is horrible! Even with the multitude of beautiful journals, notebooks, smooth writing utensils, and gorgeous planners, I can’t manage to focus. Even my idea document is not benefitting me lately.

I need something to change.

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Sorry for the MIA. So much has happened since my last blog post. I lost my domain name. Apparently some foreign retail store now has it. They are benefitting from the traffic that I had worked many years to create. I’m mad about that, but I refuse to pay them for the return of my name. I’m still the original Martha L. Thurston.

I was homeless for a course of time, and currently still displaced, although we are in a temporary home.

My son was also in a motorcycle wreck. That in itself was devastating when I think back to how I was told about it. It was as though he was dead. I’m not going to go back through that. If you’d like to read about it, it’s on my food blog at Sweet, Sassy, and Southern.

Overall, I really wanted to get my writing blog back up into action. Afterall, I have so much happening right now. My writing has been much slower, and not as pumped out as it has been, but that is okay. I am working on trying to get consistent with my posting, but sometimes life seems to happen (i.e. the wreck and subsequent weeks).

I have started working on one of my websites where I talk about building your own business. You can find that at Simple Handmade Business. I have included how to start your own blogging business. I will be expanding on that in the coming months. Right now, I’ve been trying to get everything updated and running smoothly. I’m still juggling many websites, although not like I was in the beginning. In the beginning, I was also running a sewing business. That has been put aside, and I’m not promoting like I would if I were in my own home where I could have ALL of my sewing things here, tons of fabric included. The website count of those up and running are eight (8). I still have 4 more that need to be, but I am leaving that for another day.

Until then, look for my weekly Saturday posts.

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It has been some time since I wrote or things have been normal for me. We have been currently displaced and will be for some time, though I do hope by next week we will have some sense of normalcy until we can find a permanent place to call home.

I didn’t think that I’d ever crave the normal I had. I had such huge pipedreams of what I wanted- of things that were different from what I had. Now, I just want to go back to that or some version of it.

In order to find something that felt normal, I decided to wake up and write today. Writing has always been my outlet for working through things, even if those things are a struggle.

The fun in all of this is finding something we like. What is it that we want? Part of me wishes that we could buy, or that I could even help my son buy something. I’m still burdened with student loans, so there’s not much that I can do. It lessens my purchasing power. My son doesn’t have that problem. Perhaps he will be able to have what it is that he wants for him and his children.

Until we can find that, we are just searching. Searching, watching, and waiting for things to settle from the dust into a normal life.

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I know. I get it. You’re probably thinking what do squirrels and this blog have in common? Well, just hear me out.

My son’s psychologist, during his appointment, diagnosed me as having ADHD. I sympathize a lot with my students who become easily distracted over the smallest of issues, and when you have those same said students in the middle of the day when meds are wearing off, you have highly distracted students. Much like taking a dog to a park and it suddenly darting off after a squirrel, only to dart off toward another squirrel once you’ve chased it down. This is what it is often like trying to go to sleep at night with my brain. It often chases down squirrels.

Last night was no exception. I had a conversation with someone about all the fabric I have that I can’t use due to it being licensed fabric, and I laughed about the fact that I could purchase the fabric and sell it as fabric, but I couldn’t sell anything made from the fabric because that’s a violation. This, of course, made my brain try to think of all the ways that I could sell that fabric.

There are a few dilemmas to this. What if I’m wrong about being able to sell as is? Where would I sell this? How would I sell and market it? Would this be a one and done, or would I want to turn this into a business?

Y’all, I have enough irons in the fire and plenty enough squirrels to chase without chasing this one down. Before I decide to take on one more thing, I really need to let the dust settle. I may need room for the fabric I can make items from and sell, but I may have to just bite the bullet and sell it on Ebay or something. Going into the fabric or wholesale business right now is not on my agenda at the moment.

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Lately it seems as if the whole world is out of focus. I want to blame much of it on my depression, but I know that some of it has to do with the decisions I have to make regarding moving forward with my teaching career. That in itself did not help with the depression. I can look around at my house and environment and see that my depression has taken a tight grip of my reality.

Depression is nothing new to me. I have struggled with depression since I was a child, and I’m well aware of the battle that often rages in the minds of those who are afflicted. Lately, mental illness has suddenly been thrust into the spotlight. Television shows, such as Shining Vale, portray a dark side of mental illness and the generational curse of family affliction. Mental illness if often something that seems hereditary, although I often wonder if it is also something taught.

Then there is the Naomi Judd death that spotlights what it is like to battle the voices inside. Her daughter, Ashley, compared it to her “brain hurt.” It does feel that way at times. You are having to constantly tell yourself that the voices are lying to you. You have to constantly refute the dialogue that is playing inside your head. It’s a difficult task.

In 2013, I compiled my journal entries into a book that spoke about my battle with depression and surviving my own suicide attempt. The book, Slither of Light, was one of the hardest things for me to publish because I had to open up to the world and reveal my darkest secrets. Too often, depression and mental illness is seen as that: a dirty little secret.

When you suffer from a mental illness, you are taught to hide it from the world. You don’t discuss it. You ignore it. You are told that people may see you has defective, faulty, and somehow less than who you really are because of it. The truth is that you really are no less. You are stronger. The real conversation that needs to be had is how do you support those who have it?

I personally know that when I become overwhelmed, I need a break. I need quiet time to regain myself. A time when it is okay not to be pushed to DO, and time to refill what I have emptied of myself by giving so much of myself to others. I have often hypothesized if those who have depression are Empaths. As a teacher, my students drain me because I take on all of those burdens that they seem to carry. Even my personal relationships that I have I try to help to the point that I am drained emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When that happens, my depression seems to peak.

Either way, when I begin to struggle, I have to put everything back into focus. This weekend is one of those focus weekends. My goal is to chip away at some of the chaos and get back to those things that make me happy. I want to try to clear some of the clutter so that I can see more clearly what is going on around me, and I mean that literally and figuratively. I have ignored so much due to my depression, and now, I need to start gathering up the mess and organizing it. I know that I can’t just try to do it all at one time, because then I will be more depressed. Instead, small chunks. Small tasks. Small areas. Kind of like when I would make my bed back in 2012. Small things. Eventually, what is out of focus will come back into focus, and I will begin to see much more clearly then.

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I realized on Monday that I mentioned my stroke, but I don’t think that I had posted anything about it.

A few weeks ago, I was on my way to work and once I arrived at work, I noticed that things were not right. I suspected that I had stroke, and within 40 minutes, I was being rushed to the hospital via ambulance. Between a transfer to another hospital and several days in the hospital, I left with the need for therapy.

I needed 14 days of intense therapy to regain strength and make movement a little less erratic. I still have days where I tire easily. My balance has improved, and I’m less likely to fall or stumble like I did the first week after the stroke. Spelling is difficult at times. Typing can be challenging as my right hand is much slower than my left. Repetitive tasks cause me to give out. Strength is not where it should be. And to make matters worse, the one thing that alerted me that I may have had a stroke, is the one thing that hasn’t been regained. My right arm still does not swing like it used to when I walk.

This stroke came unexpectedly. No warning. I now understand why my mom would not go to the hospital the day that she had her stroke. She wasn’t aware. I wasn’t either, until I saw myself in the reflection of glass walking down the hall and my thought immediately was, “This doesn’t feel or look right.”

I’ve been out of work for over 2 weeks. I’m looking forward to going back to work next week and seeing my students. I’m sure they have missed me as much as I have them. I’m praying that things will go well, and I will be able to finish out the school year strong.

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I despise moving, and I know that this will not be the first move for me this year. Right now, I’m just trying to get back into a routine of writing and working at home, but the clutter is starting to overtake me and my thoughts.

There’s something about clutter that makes me uncomfortable. I think it has to do with making me feel boxed in and claustrophobic. That’s why the stacks and stacks of boxes have to go.

I had managed to unpack some and create a little bit of order, but then my son brought more boxes and plastic totes (my fabric and sewing supplies) and just stacked them to the ceiling. Did I mention I run a business making children’s clothes? That’s where these 100s of totes came from. Now I’m trying to find a place for supplies and be creative about it. It’s also my son’s week with his children, so I’m avoiding putting things where I will creatively hide them to keep little hands away from them. If they find it, they pretty much destroy it (i.e. Christmas bows unraveled all over the living room and an entire large box of black pepper dumped onto my white couch).

I really hope to have everything put away out of reach by the time they return. Having things in boxes and not in their permanent place makes it too easy for the little ones to get into things that they don’t need. I also need to find a broom. My goodness at the chips, crackers, cereal, and other food items on my floor. Each time you think you have it all picked up, more find a way onto the floor. I’m reminded as to why I used to clean house after my children went to bed at night. It’s like a losing battle to clean it as you go.

As far as writing is concerned, I haven’t been able to do much writing. The internet was finally turned on at the new place this week. I just found my desk yesterday afternoon. The only writing I completed was one article for my teaching blog that I had been working on since January 3rd. That article was completed in small increments during my 10 minute lunch breaks.

The goal for this upcoming week is to get my articles written and scheduled in a timely manner. I also have to pull together my social media plan and schedule out those posts, plus edit one video. Sometimes, it’s not all writing. Sometimes, you have to find a schedule that works with real life.

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